03 September 2010

The Final Transmission

I have been eager to make a pointed transmission, ending the ragged run of sporratic excerpts and lessons from my life. I am happy to say I have discovered my final point. It is the one thing I truly wish to pass on. It is the legacy I wish to leave behind, and the work I wish for us to do.
In my mind, I always seek out efficiency of action, not because I am lazy, but because I ascribe to the motto: "work smarter, not harder." But, truly, smarter work has higher, and more effective, gains. So let me begin.
Proverbs 11:30 "The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who wins souls is wise."
Be wise and win souls.. and I shall tell you how. As it requires the most simple of regurgitated questions.
Ask those you meet, "Who do you say Jesus of Nazareth was?"
In this way, you allow them the opportunity to accept and profess that he is the son of the living God, avoid it in shame (and thus the Lord will be ashamed of him), or deny it.
it is in Matthew 16:15-19(Peter's confession of Christ) that the revelation of Christ as the Son of God, comes from the Father himself, and on the rock of this confession is safety from hell, and thus a person has been saved.
So go, save lives, be fruitful and wise.

07 August 2010

until you know

Until you know, understanding is as inconsequential, and far less frequented upon, as a two dollar bill. Simon had a ball that bounced well, multiplying the force which he induced. It was a solid ball, but not so hard that it hurt if he pelted you with it, as he enjoyed doing on occassion- not because he was mean, but, as he put it, he "liked to keep you on your toes." Neither the ground, nor the sky, could grasp that shaded sphere the way he did, nor did they enjoy its beautiful sophistication and grandeur the way he did, however, they were capable of giving it demensions his hands could not, and this is why I say he bounced it on its way. Giving it every chance to see the ground, the grass, the sky, the tree, the sun, the rain, and a passerby's temporary pain. That ball caught glances, and peers, frowns, and tears once when he had to take it back from a small child. Until you know, understanding is a left handed turn into a brick wall that doesn't move or acknowledge your existence. Simon also had a bucket he tended to leave at home, in a dark corner of his closet behind a bag and next to some shoes he had outgrown. He kept it empty always, thus not having to debate the merits of it being half full or half empty. When he brought it out he would hold it for a moment, staring into its slightly narowing space and into the bottom. It had finality and he seemed to take comfort in that notion, and in filling it up with water from the tap so that he could dump it back out again and place it in the same spot behind the bag and next to the shoes. until you know, understanding is an effort in futility. Simon, had a ball and a bucket, they were his two favorite things.

02 August 2010

Same as it ever was.

I come here less frequently than I should like, but I suppose that I can attribute that to the static nature of my life. Same as it ever was. The only thing that changes from one day to the next seems to be the date, the different lines and farthering distance we travel. I keep few friends, some acquaintances, but rarely indulge in trusting another person, though it seems to be becoming fashionable again- to trust.
It could be said that if you wish to further your life, to take another step and dig yourself out of mire, you should let me befriend you, for as I have learned I maintain a magical quality that allows people to become greater than this city, to find what they love or what makes them happy, and then seek it elsewhere. Make no mistake, I do not begrudge these people for leaving. I suppose I could leave, but what in this world could make a man, so discontent, fly past contentment in a yellow ray happiness? or waggle in pale blue and dark green to grow thick roots and leaves and bask simply under a burning sun... caring not about the heat of summer or the snows of winter?
I should look to the positive, but alas I have no will, no desire, to seek out such things on a warm, thick night when even the stars have trouble seeing; have trouble communicating the cold solitude and endless ocean of black choking eternal night where each must be its own light, its own day, its own ray of hope- for who runs to them for hugs and kisses? no, no, it is only wishes they are asked to grant, like a genie confined to a lamp but with less, more distant contact. (sigh)

24 July 2010

Just so you know

Faltering and flailing, through screams and harsh whispers, it all remains in a constant flux of poorness of spirit, of hope, of light that anything should end and leave a better beginning.
I write occassionally now (being daily), but the words, as the days, are insufficient and yield fewer results than a field baked in drought, left thirsty for water that doesn't exist. It doesn't exist as it once was thought, or was hoped to be. I'm tired and if I had the strength... if I had the strength.

How many times, how many ways
can the days, be counted and numbered-
ravaged, torn-through, plundered and razed
to the ground and be left buried deep
within its own walls, below its own ash:
the haze of a memory that slowly fades?

Why can the light be measured, not saved,
like the remnants of a well-prepared meal
wrapped neatly in celaphane, tucked away
for good use tomorow, or the day after?
....

The mountain was mine from dry brush to green pine
to the snow capped peak blurred by the breeze
and seldom reached, rarely touched, but by the careful hand
stretched out from a calm blue sky, and water
like a floating river or poind. Always seen a challenge,
a goal, for one to aspire to climb, to conquer,
never to hold or carry, for certainly a mountain is too heavy,
too wide, too big for a pocket, or wallet, or purse-
unless, of course, a silky sleek snapshot in perfect light, a perfect memory
lacking the wholeness of even a moment
and certainly the fullness of a day, ayear,
or the ages required to form the shear-faced cliff
of dangling men and loose rocks- the face of a thousand years
formed of ages and wearing and purpose; for a moment in each moment
of motion, of growing, of sowing, saving, spending, shining glory,
shining in day or night, under the milky stars.

oh what cruel futility lies
in the utility of this world
that started,
that ends,
that bends with each season
for the single reason:
to start
to end
to render a page, a book,
the words of the world you speak
easy and without care: like the leaf
in the air that begins the end:
the turning of leaves to a burning fire of smoldering
envy; into dry brown ashes covering the ground that crunch
beneath each step of useless wandering you take,
as the cigarette smolders teh world burns,
and turns,
and yearns for the meaning of destiny,
of fate,
of a life lacking the hate
clutched in your cruel, dull, beating heart
and you ponder upon the light
of water-the cool cleansing rinse;
or shower
to rid you of the grime of the day.

06 July 2010

All these miles.

I am quite certain that nobody reads the words I put forth here. But hesitation remains. So I will try to write fluidly. May the possibility of your eyes not be a hindrance to the opening of my heart, or the purity of my words.

I have travelled all these miles to pose you a question. I shall first comment on my current condition: ever declining and empty of motivation and full of ideas- stagnant, stinging ideas singing melancholy and steel. I have not written in a while as complacency has befriended me yet again. Not that I am happy with the current state of affairs- either worldly or personal; but, then, don't all personal issues have a worldly weight? My life is not what I would want for anyone. They would tell me the Lord would not give you more than you take.. well, I suppose limits are meant to be tested. And even with my life not being what I would want it to be, I must consider the notion: Perhaps I wrote my life before the world began, and chose this path purposefully. To me, that would make sense. I am increasingly falling out of love with this world... I continue to loathe my dependance on the world, and become ever more aware of exactly how deep this dependance runs. So, when we finally reach the question I travelled all these miles to ask, forgive me if I seem... well, to favor one side. I do not like the way I look, but constantly look with admiration at my reflection. Ugh, even the music I once to consolation in only seems to pertube me. It has come down to a few songs that touch a fervent chord inside of me.. I close my eyes, sitting outside in the heavy night air of Indiana, the sky is clear and the stars are faint through the haze, and as I listen, I feel my heart shake my body with every forceful beat and pause. Then I feel the delay, my heart beats in jazz rhythms. My chest swells, and as I relax to breathe a face peaks through the curtain, "come with me," she says. Anyways, the question. That idea I wish you to consider. The one all my years have led me to bring to your doorstep. That is why I am here, or perhaps I am here to answer it. Dilemmas abound like mosquitos in a rain-heavy season: buzzing and biting, nagging and annoying.
Why do we work for money when the Lord is certainly capable of providing, willing to provide for your needs?
This is yours to consider. Know that you are not alone if this causes you worry or concern, I am mired in its web. entangled never to return. The spider awaits, savors its prey, but alas, I clipped my wings by my words, and can fly no more.

03 June 2010

How the story begins

I don't know why my brain is given direction at random times, perhaps it just grabs the oddest things it hears and makes fantastical stories. Anyways, I was sitting on the ledge of a window at work, smoking, when two men walked by, certainly no older than 25, both maintaining heights of 6 feet or greater-it was hard to tell from my lowly angle- when the thinner of the two, built not much bigger than a distance runner, pointed to his arm and said, "this is the biggest I've ever been." Now some people might laugh, he wasn't that big, and surely he was talking about his muscles, but my mind raced with the idea that he had stumbled upon some secret formula that temporarily increased his height, and perhaps age. So, my theory, is that they were two 12 year olds (immature as males usually are) who were in some temporary transition brought on by chemical transformations caused by some secret scientific discovery that will allow all 12 year olds to appear old enough to enter bars and drink until the people around them are sure that they really are twelve.

01 June 2010

A thought for today


I know that I lack straightforwardness, and often think myself clever or witty, but I speak (write) in vagueness not to hide the details of my life, but so that the ideas that inhabit me may be shared in their most basic forms. It is how I connect. It is how I wish to be connected. It is how I wish to affect change, by allowing others to think out from the basic idea into their own life and circumstances.
It is a motto of mine, "Cause and Affect" exhibiting my desire to cause and affect change in the world, not by my own will, and not by forcing change upon others, but to show them that there is more, perhaps more than they have dreamed, or possibilities that were otherwise hidden from their view, and that the more is readily available to catch their every step.

A verse I frequently become enamoured and frustrated with is, "a man cannot serve two masters." I have found that the next paragraph is enlightening in that it begins, "therefore," or better to say, "because I have asked this of you" do not worry. because if you seek His Kingdom and His Righteousness first, all the things you need would be given to you.

I have spoken plainly only to a few about the possible implications of this passage. I refuse to believe that I am of greater faith than others. In fact, I believe it to be quite the contrary. But still, as I voiced what I believed to be true and right, as supported by the above passage and still others, my belief was dismissed, each time, with no delay. It would seem to me that basic constructs of this world are well intact and above questioning, perhaps it is for the best. I suppose that nothing questioned can ever be thought wrong.... and if you don't know its wrong, the blows will be few, but those who know the master's will and do not do it will be beaten with many blows.

29 May 2010

Whiskey Singalong

My friend sent me an email the other day, complaining of odd dreams of writing songs. One of those songs was titled, "Whiskey Singalong". I was asked if I wanted to help writing it. Of course I understand the facetiousness of his request, but I should comply when twilight hours bring words to my mind.
so here it is...

-dry, stripped down, more spoken than sung.

1. Well I gave up my wings
somewhere east of downtown
Now I guess I'll be bound
To these shackles and chains
Its a shame
At least in my eyes

Singing Hey, Hey, Hey
the whiskey says, "don't forget about me"
Hey, Hey, Hey, don't forget about me.

2. In the eyes of the moon
with my toes in the grass
the glimmer has faded
but the stars stay the same
Its a shame
At least in my eyes

Singing Hey, Hey, Hey
the whiskey says, "don't forget about me"
Hey, Hey, Hey, don't forget about me.

03 March 2010

Blind man at Behsaida

Okay, I know it has been a while since I have posted. My failings are not unknown to me... as Jackson Browne put it, "Don't confront me with my failures, I have not forgotten them." I am currently working on a paper-ish sort of thing, forcing myself to do quite a bit of research and thought on the subject I am currently titling: The Action of Faith. So in due time, I expect to publish what I write here on this blog.

I noted something in my studies that I wished to share, and please pardon the convolutedness...by now I'm sure you know that it happens.

In Mark 8, Christ heals a blind man in Bethsaida. Now, understanding that Christ had healed many people, by His word, and by their faith, and knowing that he had also healed the blind without a hitch, I noted it as odd, or peculiar, that in this instance it required to efforts by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Then it struck me... as I read my dictionary word of the day: Fructuous.

When Christ asked the man if he saw anything the first time he spat on his eyes, the man replied "I see people; they look like trees walking around."
This is the point I wish to emphasize. We can all be seen as trees, and we are called upon by the Lord to be fructious. we are as trees and every tree that does not bear fruit will be cut down... insert convolutedness (we are a part of the vine... connectivity between scriptures, the withering fig tree (maybe)..)

So.. I just wanted to share, as I felt this to be an important point. Please do not confuse our fructuousness with salvation. Christ died once for all sin, but it is those things that we are called to do, to serve the Lord, the fruits of our labor which are pleasing to him: spread the word of Christ, pray, partake in the breaking of bread, be charitous, and do all these things not of a whim, or in passing, but consciously and with planning, and consistently.

May He rain his rich graces upon you in the days ahead, and may your hearts be filled with the joy of salvation, even the fullness of joy that Christ spoke of of.
Amen.

28 January 2010

A Most Excellent Way

Fourth Sunday After the Epiphany
Old Testament: Jeremiah 1:4-10(17-19)
Epistle: 1 Cor 12:31b-13:13
Gospel: Luke 4:31-44

Grace and Peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, in whom was exemplified the love the One and Only.

As I learned, or perhaps relearned, while sitting in with the confirmation group last Sunday after church, this is a time of year when we are focused on the ministry of Christ, or the growth of his ministry on earth, growth represented by the color green, but,also, Epiphany is the revelation of who Jesus was- the Son of God, being sent from Him who is.

Now, in the Gospel lesson for today, we hear of Jesus driving a demon out of a man. The point I wish to emphasize relates to the revelation of Jesus. That it was with power and authority that he drove the demon out. The people standing around, the witnesses to the event, couldn't help but be amazed. Here was this man, possessed by all accounts, and with words- not a touch, not a prayer- with a command, the demon came out of the man. I am sure that part of what caused word to spread was that this had occurred on the Sabbath, a time when work was not to be done. But, this is addressed later in the scripture, when we are told that Sabbath was created for man, and not man for the Sabbath.

But the ministry of Christ on earth, the shining of the light of life to men in darkness, was just beginning. It was in its infancy. But from the moment it began, from the moment he was born, it was love- the love of God. This was the only command that our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, gave us: "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." (Mat 13:34).

Love. In Love. With Love. By Love.

Love each other. Love your enemies. Love those in need. When I read this passage from Paul, I am reminded, as we all should be, of what qualities and behaviours comprise love- are exhibited when you love; and what becomes of us when we are without it, when we do things without the love of Christ in us. For even with the greatest gifts the Holy Spirit has to offer, without love we are nothing, and our actions gain nothing. But, in love... by using our gifts in love, we can reach others, we can spread the word of the Lord, and let His love be known. If we do everything with love, then you will seed the earth and be fruitful. I am reminded of the greatest commandment from Matthew 22, when Jesus was tested by the Pharisees, being asked which is the greatest commandment in the Law. "Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." It is by loving your neighbor as yourself that we fulfill the first. For it is like the first, it is similar, the same as. Through our belief in Christ, knowing his love, and God's love for us, by loving each other, by loving our neighbors as ourselves, we fulfill the Law. This is why Romans 13:10 says, "Therefore love is fulfillment of the Law."

I have come to understand that love is certainly all the things that Paul describes: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." And so when we read this beautiful passage, remember to exemplify these things, but remember also that God exemplifies these things, and they were exemplified to us through Christ. Love never fails. Christ never fails. God never fails. You're salvation never fails.

Love each other. Clothe each other. Feed each other. Shelter each other. With Love. In Love. By Love.

May you be blessed by Him Who Is; May you revel and glory in the forgiveness and eternal life afforded us by His Son, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Perhaps, just maybe, later this week or early next I will continue by expounding some more on love. Not just forgiving others, earnestly, but by testifying of Christ and sharing him with them.

21 January 2010

Say It Once

I will only say this once.
The world is bound by fear. Overcome all fear- overcome the world- and you will find everything, exactly where you stand, even in your hand. But first you must ask, "why?" of everything you know, to the very foundation, so that you may understand the baseless reasons supporting the fear. Or, perhaps more simply, you can act on faith, but, still, understanding is needed.
This is all I wish to say.

05 January 2010

Epiphany

Grace, Peace and Mercy to you from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Epiphany. The 6th of January. Every year. To recognize, believe, that Christ came into the world, he must first have come into this world. Thanks be to God for His grace and mercy. I had recently come to the conclusion, and managed to put into words, that sense is the proper use of logic. for if logic is used improperly, no sense is made, and there is no reason. So i will try to logic properly for this wonderful Christian festival.

I thouroughly enjoyed reading all three of the scripture lessons for this week and, as usual, have struggled delineating a line of logic. Perhaps I should start using outlines. But there is so much to say; so many things to be imparted. But I will start with the word "epiphany," and a short story.
Epiphany
Epiphany: from the greek epiphaneia, to show forth, manifest; a moment of sudden intuitive understanding; flash of insight b a scene, experience, etc. that occasions such a moment (these being only 2 definitions)
also: Manifest Clearly apparent to the sight or understanding; obvious.
1. To show or demonstrate plainly; reveal: 2. To be evidence of; prove.
Continuing On
We celebrate this day as a day of revelation, when the Gentiles, in the form of the Magi, had Christ the savior revealed to them. Now, as such an historic day, being the entrance of prophesied Savior and King of the Jews into the world, I am pretty sure that it was a day that the Magi remembered throughout their lives. But I am pretty sure that not many of us remember when Christ was revealed to us, through the Holy Spirit, by our Father in Heaven, for the first time. It seems that we may only recognize that every time we profess Christ as the son of the Living God, that it can only be done by the power of the Holy Spirit, rather than remembering the first time Christ was revealed to us as the Son of Living God.
There is a man, a Gentile, who has heard the voice of Lord, praise be to God, and who has seen the Sun of Righteousness rise with healing in its wings. It is safe to say that this man has been blessed with a rather extraordinary epiphany of the Lord. But to him it was apparent to his sight, and understanding, that there was One true God, and his Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, and that in Christ he had the forgiveness of his sins, and was made to be righteous and holy before the Lord; a son entitled to his inheritance.
It was the hidden mystery of the Father that the Gentiles should come to be heirs to the Kingdom of God, which had formerly been preserved for the Jews. We are together heirs, we are now members of one body, the Lord Jesus Christ, who brings us together. We gentiles are adopted through Christ. When a person was adopted in Roman times, they were considered new peoples. Their past was forgotten, all their debts, their former lives disappear as if they had never breathed before the day they were adopted. And so it is with us in Christ: rightful heirs. holy. blameless. it is our right in Christ to be Sons of the Father. We can rest assured that our inheritance will not fail. It is the mystery that, in Christ, all things should be brought together (as talked about in the last entry).
So in this knowledge, "Arise, shine, for your light has come" come into being (a new being); originate (a new beginning)--- glow, be bright with the reflected light of the Savior who came to provide information and clarification. "the glory of the Lord rises upon you."
Give thanks to God for our Salvation and the knowlede of it. Reflect upon it on this celebrated day, and continue to remember all the things that Christ came to give us. I wish for you to have a daily epiphany, a daily revelation that Christ Jesus is the Son of the Living God; and to remember all that your belief entitles you to.
May your faith be strong and light your lamp, so that others may come to it, and come to believe in Christ,in whom, by the counsel of the Father's plan, we have life; in whome we are all heirs to the promised Kingdom.

02 January 2010

The Riches of His Grace

2nd Sunday after Christmas
Readings:
Old Testament 1 Kings 3:4-15
Epistle: Ephesians 1:3-14
Gospel Luke 2:40-52

Grace, Mercy, and Peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

My friends, I wasn't sure what to write about this week, but a theme is emerging so I am going to let the rhythm of my fingers on the keyboard takeover. So let me apologize now for any broken thoughts, sentences, or convoluted statements.

It is always important to recognize the sacrifice that Christ made on the cross. It is important to remember the body and blood of Christ; the words he spoke in all wisdom and truth, pleasing to the Father, and the atonement he made for us on our behalf, being sent by the Father in all wisdom and truth.

I read a daily devotional this week that seemed to harbor animosity towards atheists and the battle the world (being said to be led by atheists) wages against the Christ and Christmas. It did eventually find its way to making a prayer for the souls of the atheists, that they may be saved, but it was certainly lacking the love we Christians should practice. And upon this and other events I ponder, "what meaning is there in this? what purpose has God here?" And I believe that other people ask these very same questions, variations on the question, "why?" But the world tends to cast a negative light on things, asking, "if God is so loving, why does he allow these things to happen?" But it is in accordance with the will of God that these things should take place. If you as Christians ever wonder this, you need only to remember Christ your Salvation. Your sins have been forgiven, by the shedding of his blood, done in all wisdom and understanding, according to the riches of God's grace. This was done with intent and purpose, it fits into God's plan for the world, which is simply that everything should come together, heaven and earth, and to reconcile the two, us being in darkness and sin, Christ was sent to bridge the gap.
We have been chosen. He chose us to be blameless and holy in his sight, before the creation of the world. Who are we to understand the will of the Father, or how exactly it will play out? His thoughts are above ours. Who can comprehend his will? But praise be to God! We have our Salvation, and a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance, the Holy Spirit. We have been marked, by the Lord as His own. Christ is our shepherd, in him we have been granted every spiritual blessing.

I often hear people speak of prophecies as warnings to change your ways. They tout them as changeable occurences in history meant to steer us one way or another. They are meant as warnings. They are meant to steer us one way or another. But I tell you that God knows we are a rebellious and sinful people, and He gave us prophecies to tell us what to expect so that we believers can be ready. And when these things happen, do not ask why... know that these things had to happen. If a prophecy revealed from God through the Holy Spirit doesn't happen, then what power does God have? But these things must happen, that others may see and repent; that they may return to God.

We may not understand everything that happens to us, or in the world, but we, as believers, can rely on Christ, and his Salvation, knowing that we are loved, forgiven, to the praise of His glory, that when the times will have reached their fulfillment, we will have our redemption, and heaven and earth will be brought together under one head- Christ.

May God lavish his blessings upon you. May you be reminded of His love when you are in doubt, and may you always remember and rejoice in your Salvation, which is in Christ Jesus. Amen.


afterthought: I suppose I could've have written more on the riches of his grace; relating the OT lesson of a thousand and one sacrifices, to Christ's; and the epistle expounding on God's grace and plan, our unknowing, to the Gospel lesson of Mary and Joseph not understanding what Christ meant, yet treasuring those things up in their hearts... but maybe I'll write a second entry this week before Epiphany (Jan 6), which should be fun!