The Great Scotch Tape Incident.

I could not have been older than ten, it was when we still lived on the north side of town, when I saw for the first time with my own eyes. I was half beaten with sleep, but the light that broke through the opened door to my room seemed to rouse me some. In the doorway, peering in on me, was a rather large man, larger than my father so it could not have been him. He was donned in red, a rare type of velvet, and trimmed in white- he was married to the suit so much he even had a white beard. He turned and left in such a way that even I had wondered if he was there to begin with, but the smell was unmistakable, and indescribable. This was the first time I met Saint Nicolas.

Now, since I have been old enough to travel without parent accompaniment beyond the pre-set limitations, we, Santa and I, have met on almost a yearly basis. We alternate locations, as some families do on the holiday, and share stories, though mine never seem to surprise him. It was precisely at one of these gatherings that he revealed to me the reason that he refuses to wrap gifts anymore: The Great Scotch Tape Incident of 1948.

Let me first explain that Santa looks exactly the same all year round, and it is precisely as he is described in several books and images- though the Coca-Cola label embellishes his weight a bit, it most closely resembles him. He is nearly always in good cheer, and manages to find humor in the reminiscences of some pretty difficult times.

Scotch tape was still relatively new in 1948 and the world was still shaking off the anger of war; never was Christmas of more importance. The workers at North Pole were under immense pressure to make this the Christmas of Christmases (as it is every year), and Santa was extremely apprehensive, but still in good cheer. The toys and presents of various size and weight and shape were being assembled and built at an astonishing rate, especially considering they do not start until Thanksgiving. On December 17, every year prior, the workers began to wrap the toys with shiny paper of all sorts and top them off with elegant ribbons. Scotch tape had become the adhesive of choice the year after it debuted in 1944.

Blitzen and Donder were in the stables playing some sort of reindeer game (I believe it has since been outlawed), when a certain elf, which shall remain nameless, managed to startle Donder. He took off in the blink of an eye, bolted across the stables, through the gate, down a curling passage, and without any thought at all galloped into the workshop. His antlers threaded the hole of a gigantic roll of Scotch tape, and whisked it away. The sticky end stuck to one of the elves and began to drag him along. Chaos quickly befell the room that only moments before had been echoing with songs of the season. The elf frantically searched for something to grab hold of and managed to lay his hand on a table leg. Well, amazingly enough, the force exerted on the roll of tape caused it to begin to unwind, as Donder still hadn't stopped. The tape took hold of several elves, wrapping them up, and also a great many presents that were wrapped and waiting to be wrapped.

Finally, as if the damage could be greater, Santa walked through the door and yelled, "Whoah! Who-0ohh!" in that deep and booming voice of his. Donder immediately responded by running around Santa gleefully a couple of times. He too became caught up in the tape and tumbled, rather ungracefully, to the ground.

The gifts were difficult to recover and a special effort had to be made to remake a number of ruined toys. Removing the tape from the already wrapped presents tore the paper, and the ribbons and bows were tossed out. The presents were unwrapped and, due to a shortage of time, had to remain so for Christmas day. It was after Santa had successfully delivered the presents to all the good boys and girls of the world that he swore off scotch tape and wrapping paper.

I have tried several times to convince him that this was an overreaction, but he always assures me that it is for the best. It saves time, which, with the ever-increasing population of the world, is in the best interest of Christmas. He says he will always remember it as the Christmas of Christmases, but not for the reason that he had intended.

It is with this anecdote that I wish you all the grace and hope of the season. May your hearts be content, and full of good cheer; and may you believe in the goodness of men, and practice the same. Merry Christmas!!