The O's pt 1 (the foreword)

It is amazing how 3 hours can make a place feel a liftetime and another world away, and yet instill the comfort of a warm blanket. It had only been a week since my last visit, and the fog of uncertainty was becoming more translucent through a week's worth of in-depth questions and mirror to grave thinking
(mirror to grave: the time it takes for a person to go from the immediate moment to death), self reflection, and the ever needed process of self realization and goal building.
When I was in third grade, I remember sitting in art class with a teacher who was unusually forthcoming with a problem of hers. She had been extremely depressed for the longest time and had begun seeing a therapist. The problem was diagnosed to be that my teacher had reached all of the goals she had set for herself, and was now stuck in the proverbial rut, with nothing to work for, no motivation. Perhaps I know that rut all too well. But I do find it amusing to see how the things from our past become more prevalent while looking in the mirror.
So, being more clear of the things that I want out of life, and trying to forget the perilous ways of the shortsighted, I arrived in Columbus, eager to move forward- to test the water of an ocean to see if it was to my liking, and also me to it (these things are a two way street).
I felt awkward at first, tongue tied, so I began my weekend with two shots of Jameson's and two Tanq n' Tonics. I know that drinking is never the answer, but that sometimes it is also not a bad idea for anyone who is wound as tight as I (finding it nearly impossible to express personal thoughts/feelings in a face-to-face situation). Discussions, the back and forth, questions upon questions, relaxing together, holding each other- it was really a wonderful experience, and trying to overcome the self depricating/loathing/I don't deserve anything good mentality is going to be difficult, but the help available eases my worry and lightens my soul.
Kelly is wonderful, and she thrives in her environment despite previous qualms with other cities- Columbus fits her. I aspire to have the same, to be completely comfortable in my skin in a town, to feel at ease and have things to do; to have things that excite my creative nature and allow me to grow. With her help (perhaps forcibly) I am discovering the reasons of my dissatisfaction and with this knowledge it will be/is possible to change my condition. I look forward to happier days, happier nights, and a healthier me.

And today, there's no gas. more to come..