Space and Tomorrow

I was going to write about the decline of the space program- this being the day the final shuttle mission was launched to repair the Hubble Space Telescope- but I shall instead go off script. No stories of how I won a third-grade essay contest on the future of space flight, no gleaming memories from my trip to Cape Canaveral, no lengthy speeches on the accomplishment of putting a man on the moon (which, unfortunately, means no Andy Kauffman references).

So this weekend was mother's day, a horrible day to break such news, and even more horrible when you know you have to hold it in, when all you want to do is let it loose. I am not a fan of creating chaos for others, but deal well with it myself. I attribute this to my ability to uptake multiple sources of information at the same time, process, and conclude in a fashion that does three things: makes sense in the scheme of things; makes some sort of progress; and maintains flow (I call this flow functionality).

As you may already know, I am moving! Yay! But until today my parents had yet to know that I was moving, or that it was occuring on such a short schedule, and without a job. Does any good conversation ever begin with, "I need to talk to you about something?" I suppose it depends, like all things, on perspective. It was like watching a pond frost over- when the shock set in- and I could sense some pain. All they could really muster was,"well, I guess you know what you're doing."

I don't know. For me, that is the most difficult thing imaginable. I am of the kind that needs facts, statistics, as much information as possible before I make a decision. It is here that I have cast aside the weight of thought and stand clutching that of hope. I will tell you it is somehow lighter. Either because I believe things will be better, or simply because I have someone who is there for me- she also believes things will be better for me (Thanks Belle!)

I didn't stay for long, as it was getting late and the season finale of House was on (I'm getting ready to watch the recorded version now). So, I suppose, as when we first watched the space shuttles cause the earth to tremble below plooms of white smoke, and arc up over the Atlantic Ocean heading into the unknown; when we were filled with the excitement of all possibility, so too do I sit here, typing to you about the same wonder and excitement that seems to have faded in our waxing years, but is now being replenished as a storied fleet is retired.